So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my sisters under your porch take her home
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
