OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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