she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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