You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Shame - the story of my life.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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