So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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