i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
