did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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