If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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