he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
