He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
