belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
