Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
