It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
