I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
