No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
