Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Come see our sink grown plant.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize