David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
