Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
