Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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