Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
