Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
