I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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