Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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