You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
