So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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