Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
