Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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