video games are the ultimate cock blocker
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
