There was a lot of him and a little penis
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
