He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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