You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
