I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
