I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
