my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
