i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize