No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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