she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
