Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
