the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
