It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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