I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
