Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
