I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
