Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
