I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
