i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
