i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
