People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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