once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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