I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
