i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
