ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
