How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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