i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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