Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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