I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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