Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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