he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
