Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
