i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
