My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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